you KNOW you LOVE me

I know I should be doing something else right now, but I feel sinfully happy sitting here in front of this PC and pouring my feelings out. Not that I have a lot to pour anyway.

Things have been good these past few days. My grades are great, they’re more that what I’ve actually expected. Haha! Especially my lit grade! I thought I was gonna get around 70 but I didn’t! (Don’t ask how much I got anyway, coz it’s not much)

I’m really sad of not going to MYMBC(tama ba order ng letters?) because I just read their itinerary this afternoon and I really would love to join it. It’s actually a convention of all business students in Mindanao. They have exhibits, forums, seminars and guess what, debate! All of my friends are going there. There’s this part of me that really wants to go because they’re there. But I thought about it hard, and I realized that it’s in Cagayan, same people, and I don’t wanna absent from class. I dunno, I kind of feel like I don’t need it that much, coz I’ll be taking up education after BA anyway but still it would be extra brownies on my resume…aw gawd, what am I thinking?

Well, it does cost a lot. If I’d go, it would probably cost me one MPDC. And you know I cannot afford to not go to MPDC…that is, if I have enough dough.

The MPDC is moved to Feb 23, so I have one whole month and more to save up for that event. Actually I am a bit bothered of not going that’s why I’m planning of ways to earn money. Really. I need to raise around P4000 so I could get to Surigao and debate and go home with an empty wallet and a full heart.

Donations are glorified.

What’s with me meaning the right things and yet saying the wrong words? Hahaha. I say random things that turn out to be bastos or downright stupid in the end but the moment I say them they just sound right. Hehehe. I’ve been a little crazy these past few days. So let me prove it.

First, I’m cooling off with my love affair with coffee. It’s really a manloloko. One time, I drank two cups. I ended up doing chores all day. I never felt exhausted. Never. And when I was about to sleep, I was dead tired that the next day it was really a burden having to wake up at 5 just to go jogging.

And yeah, jogging. It is really fun; at least my vacation’s not spent bumming around. I go jogging with Pansit every morning---perhaps to help him lose weight also(haha peace). I wanted to be fit without looking frail. I got what I wanted in just three days. I got the right amount of meat in the places where I want them. It also helps me become less susceptible to being lazy. And um…yeah, it’s healthy.  Well guess what, I’ve been a little health conscious these past few days. I’m currently loving this pure ampalaya-carrot-pineapple-cucumber juice which I plan to drink EVERY NIGHT. We just put everything in the juice extractor and add ice. It’s really refreshing and yummy. Buh-leeev me!

Argh. I’m soooo broke. It’s my entire fault. I’ve done my Christmas shopping waaaay before Christmas. In fact, I even shopped a lot before All Saints’ Day and shopped during December. And even at schooldays whenever I feel like going somewhere fulfilling Haha. My “savings” were swallowed by the shoes I’ve been eyeing for quite some time. Somebody bomb Chinatown! Almost all of my Christmas dough was spent there. Everything’s just so randomly beautiful and CHEAP! I really end up buying a lot there. Tsk.

But I don’t care. I am….(how you say?)... Happy.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

Well, it’s been two weeks.

So far, I love school. My sked is pretty amazing, I get to slack every mwf afternoon. Haha. I have so much free (lunch )time that I can actually go home and have lunch everyday. Wow. That way I could save. Then I could have more money for my debate tournaments. Uh-oh. Did I say tournaments? My parents don’t actually approve of me still joining ADC. They blame it for ruining my studies. They blame it for me, failing math. But you know, it’s not because of debating, it’s just that I was a little out of tune last sem. I was adjusting. Joining ADC is like having a boyfriend. You know, it keeps you busy, gives you something to think about, makes you feel proud, makes you wanna stay late at school, needs commitment, a big responsibility. To sum it all up, it makes you love a little level higher. Not that there are actually levels of love…

Speaking of love, I’m currently loving Judy Blume. I read her “Forever”, an amazing anecdote of first love and “Wifey”, a witty adult book. They’re so realistic. Reading Judy Blume is like talking to a virtual mother. Or a really hip teacher.

And still speaking of love, my love life is actually extinct.

Classmates are cool. I met A LOT of new people. It’s actually good that I’m not classmates with my classmates last sem anymore. I mean, a new environment--I believe--is actually what I need for a fresh new start. They’re really reasonable people. People who have no prejudices. I love em.

I need a job. I need something to keep me preoccupied. Haha, Martin even told me I was going crazy. I got a 29-unit sem, chores at home and even debating to keep me filled with something to “always worry about”. I dunno why. I just feel bouncy all of a sudden. Maybe because I really have high hopes for this sem. *smile* So there. Give me something to worry about.

Stay stupid. Try to ruin me. I love my club. Do you think I’ll stay quiet? Think again(assuming that you are actually capable of cognition).


There are a bunch of high school kids who hate me right now because of things I didn’t even do. It’s just that everything I did was synonymous to insulting, unprofessional, improper and antagonistic to them. But it’s not. Everything I did was SOP and logical. It was THEIR ACCUSATIONS which were totally illogical. They don’t even communicate! If they communicated right, things would be clear. They wouldn’t jump into conclusions. I was even called by their “authorized” one and fired accusations at me. The problem was even vague. They don’t tell me what the problem really is. All they’ve got is that there IS a problem and I caused it. That’s it.

I pity them. If they always think that way towards people, they’d be six feet under before Britney delivers her next baby. And I thought they were rational people. Critical thinkers. But no. They just chew what they’re fed. What’s worse is that they have this “authorized person” who can mash my reputation anytime he wants to. I’ve just heard from some REAL friends the nasty rumors this “authorized person” proliferated and the facts change from person to person. What is he, an elementary schoolgirl?! Tsk tsk. I think he’s just not man enough to talk to me straight.

If you’re reading right now (or if you’re one of his minions), talk to me, “authorized” one. You’re a professional right? Let’s be grown ups. Tell me what I did that screamed wrong in your ears.

Tell it to my face that I was insolent and I was pestering.

Tell me that I was wrong.

And I’ll make you understand THAT’S BULLSHIT.

And oh, stop assuming. Show me evidence. Shove them to my face while yours stay in wet clay.

Please tell me I’m not dead---yet.

Last Thursday, I went home to have a date with myself. I bought toasted garlic bread(which I have been craving for a week now) and rented a romantic comedy(Wedding Date). I had three hours of independence, people. Our PolSci teacher was so bored with the class because I decided not to be dynamic that time and frankly I am the only one who actively participates in that class that he loves me like a kutchinta with lots of buko. I was alone, eating garlic bread and crying over the wedding scene at the movie’s ending…yes, it was perfect. But when I went out, just after I closed and locked the door, I realized that I left my ID inside AND my house key. Wow, double jeopardy. So because of that, clearly, I couldn’t go inside, unless my parents went home just to let me in..but I don’t wanna bug them from their “work” so I just decided to go to school and take a step from there. I texted Bam and made her secure me an ID which I could borrow so I could go inside AND take my pre-finals exam in Management. Sadly, I was too chicken to try the trick out, because I remembered a case wherein the one who borrowed an ID was caught and was punished in the form of community service. Gawsh, I know how community service sucks. Big, big time. So there. I wasn’t able to take my Management test and I just decided to be absent the remaining day. Foolish.

We had a play in Theo, which was to cover “Jesus as a Rabbi” and I was SUPPOSED to voice over some girly roles in the play. But I was too busy and how malas, I became sick, so I wasn’t able to attend the practice sessions. I believe my classmates might’ve ostracized me for that. But I didn’t care. I knew I’ll be there at the play itself and I knew that I can swallow instructions easily so I just decided to appear at the play itself. I was REALLY busy, y’know. The play was supposed to take place hours ago(6-9pm). That was the original schedule. I didn’t know that the schedule was changed and that during 5pm I received a text message saying that the play was over and a friend was asking me why I wasn’t there. I didn’t even know that the schedule was changed! He told me that it was MY fault because I wasn’t there during practices. But no! It wasn’t entirely my fault, being absent should not alienate me from my right to know what’s going on coz my grade is still an issue here! But there’s no use in blaming people here coz the damage was done. I’ve just shredded of what’s supposed to be my pre-finals grade. So there, strike two. My life was typhooned twice in a week.

And basing on empirical data, I’m gonna flunk Math.

So what should I do besides cut my wrist? Haha just kidding.

It really saddens me that a person needs to stumble sometimes just so he would learn how to recover from the fall and avoid making the same mistake again. I want to hate myself for all the bad luck and the carelessness and my laziness…but I realized that yes, I need this. I NEED TO FALL. And I appreciated its value. It makes me look into what should matter. Life is so different from school. In school, you learn the lesson and take the exam. In life, you take an “exam” first before you learn. It’s harder patch up holes in the real life. In school, you have a removal test, a finals exam and even special projects. Life doesn’t work that way. When you fail the “exam”, the damages are bigger. You don’t only lose things or worse, people. You may even affect the feelings of the people whom you love negatively. Yes, it’s sad. But should I just keep on feeling sad about the reality? NO! I can’t. I should not. I still believe that even if my life is falling apart right now, I’m still hanging on. I’m trying to glue the pieces back to where it belongs. I’ve got relationships and grades and money and feelings scattered all over my room. I just need time…and encouragement. I can do this!

On to the bright side…our group got the bonus points for the Econ report. A report was equivalent into one quiz and only two reporters max were allowed per group. I practically gave my life to that report coz I want our group to have the points. I made sure everything went right that day. Well, God must’ve been smiling at me all the while coz I didn’t encounter any problem during the report. Mam Desi was known to throw really hard questions, questions that would make you hate yourself for having to report but we dealt with the questions smoothly, and I gave out good hand outs and our visual aid was great. That makes me happy primarily because I made my group mates happy. It makes me happy that I didn’t fail them…because it mattered more to me to not fail them than to not fail myself. They trusted me. And I didn’t fail them. I kept on repeating this thought in my head. It reminds me that I STILL am a blessing to others. Haha.

Now I’m working on weaving my life to what it’s supposed to be. Please cooperate. Buy me Rambutan. :p

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

^This is funny. :)

...

i'm happy. i dunno why. i just am. :)

*Tell me about your day.

My heart was crushed.
Lashed.
Trashed.

*How…..expressive. [narrows eyelids]

[Generates an exaggerated sigh] How could be waltzed to my life like that and filled me in with his carefree humor and then *poof!* in the blink of a perfectly made-up eye, he’s out of my grasp?! Chakaaaaaa!!! He’s so adorable. I can’t help but like him. I fell into a vacuum. I didn’t even notice I liked him more than I should.

*So, does this mean that you like him(now) less?

I dunno.. I want to like him less, but I think it won’t happen now. As in now. But I really like him still. I still wanna be with him.

*And why do you say that?

I see him everywhere. Like, every little thing of every thing reminds me of him. I can’t even avoid talking about him when I’m with my girl friends. I mean, how can you blame me? He’s so strong, brilliant, funny and adorable.

*Really? I didn’t see that.

It’s because you don’t spend that much time together! [laughs]

*So that’s how you fell for him.

Maybe..[smiles meaningfully] But really, I began discovering his beautiful soul the more we became close. As if we’re THAT close.

*How close are you now?

Now? I can’t answer that. Lately, yes. Well, he makes me feel special by being extra-nice. And this treatment is exclusive. It’s just friendly of course, but he treats me differently from his other girl pals.

*How do you feel now?

Honestly? I feel defeated. I was shocked. It hurt so much that I can’t even cry. It’s like getting speedily hit by a big yellow schoolbus that you don’t actually see it coming, but you should see it coming, and when it hits you it hits you hard that you don’t actually have time to collect yourself. That’s exactly how I feel now.

*Wow. That’s hard, you must be really strong.

Well I have to. I have to stay strong for my family, for my friends…for myself. All I need is a new beginning.

[Silence]

*You sure you’re gonna be okay?

Oh I will. Give me a decade.

You Are The Sun

You represent the best of life - vitality, success, and and truth. You tend to have a strong, centered, balanced personality. Inspiration and discovery are your fortes. You are very mentally strong. A talented mind, you tend to excel at math, philosophy, and music. Your fortune: As well as you have done in the past, the future is going to be filled with more success. A new creative project is coming your way. Feed it, and it will grow into something huge. Great riches, recognition, prosperity, or happiness is coming your way. And it's possible that a fantastic vacation, or a new baby, is coming sooner than you think.

I REPRESENT SUNSHINE!!!

Weeeeeeeeeee!!

hehe anyway, to sum up mpdc: chaka!
but the "side-experiences" were fun. we drank. we laughed. we slept late. ate at "i-felt-cheated" restaurant. :( no kex! hahaha!

^ i felt that my post had potential, but it was underdeveloped. hahaha! :p

I had a very memorable day because

[1] we had a clan reunion(Evangelista people) and I met my made-in-America cousins,
[2] I swam for four hours continuously,
[3] the sun hid so I need not reapply sunblock(and that’s always a good thing),
[4] I ate lechon baboy and rice and chocolate cake for lunch,
[5] Uncle Danny gave us a new dog and we named him Pau-Pau and
[6] I had the longest muni-muni in the afternoon.

We went to Villa Josefina and had our clan reunion there. They actually reserved the whole function area including the two pools for us. The food was immaculate. It’s my first time to see three lechon baboys lined up, a whole table full of fruits of more than ten kinds and five boxes of chocolate cakes*salivating*.

I met my cousins Josh and Alex. They grew up in the States. They don’t know how to speak Tagalog and Bisaya. Josh is the kuya. They’re such talented guys---and good looking too(keks). Alex knows how to play the drums and the guitar and is an Asian champion in kung-fu(I think, basta Chinese martial arts thing). Josh is good with computers and dancing hula. It was kind of funny coz he’s a guy and hula…hmmm..

Josh is actually a very happy person. When I met him, he was shouting with glee and says “Good morning” to everyone and his energy seemed infinite. I even thought that he’s a party boy coz he’s very talkative. He talks about random things and I can’t understand 55% of what he says but I just thought, “Maybe it’s the accent.” But it’s not. After about half an hour, his mom told us that he is autistic.

Josh also has this “phobia” of people. He doesn’t want to talk to people except his family. His brother feels embarrassed whenever Josh suddenly talks or shouts or sings. Like he’s a stranger to him. I wanna tell Alex to understand Josh. Whenever Josh looks at me, I smile at him encouragingly. I want him to feel “at ease” with me. I mean, I understand him. Unlike Alex, I don’t get annoyed whenever he freaks out or guffaws or imitates sounds of animals… I understand him. I sat nearest to him in the car coz I really wanted to talk to him. I even sat near him in the dining area. I tried to be his friend in the pool. But the problem is that, he just mutters two syllables and runs faster than the speed of light.

I feel sad for him. I literally spent the whole afternoon watching him run around the pool area and watch other kids play basketball and laugh. I feel sad for him because he seems isolated. I’ve never been this sad before. This week, I actually told someone that my life is falling apart but when I met Josh, it’s like, if my life is falling apart, then how much destructed could his be? For about five hours I never thought about school and guys and prepaid load. I thought about how lucky I am to be normal.

His brother feels ashamed being with him. His mom only listens to him sometimes. The other kids avoid him. Duh, like autism is contagious. I talked to his dad and asked him if he goes to a regular school. He does, but he can’t, like, cope with the environment so he’ll transfer this coming school year. Uncle said he only talks to very few people. He also spends a lot of time with the PC and with video games. He doesn’t have a barkada. I wonder if he ever dated a girl. Or if he ever liked a girl.

That’s sad.

If I’m crying inside, it’s because I know I wanna change the world for him, but it’s not that easy.

I’M SICK OF YOU. SO SICK OF YOU. I’m sick of being bossed around by you. I’m sick of your voice. I’m sick of being attached to you because I tend to become boisterous when I’m with you. I’m sick of you telling me stuff that I don’t even care about(e.g. your daddy’s a hotshot manager, you’re gonna get a “car” on your debut, your uncle owns this and your aunt owns that, and you’ve been here and you’ve been there). STOP. I don’t ever wanna hear another word from you again. How nice of you to notice that I have been quiet all day. Haha. Really? You noticed? I thought there’s only one person in your world(yourself). Well, I don’t wanna mess with you. There are times that I wanna tell you you’re wrong, but, I can’t. Why? Coz you’re my friend. And for that, I’m obliged to embrace your good and bad sides. Whoa whoa whoa. What sides? Obviously, you are more inclined to the bad side. But really, I don’t wanna argue with you simply because I’m not the kind of person who starts a fight. And I still value our friendship. There have been countless times that you’ve corrected me with your trademark you’re-so-wrong-and-wtf-I’m always-right look. I don’t wanna appear dumb in front of you anymore. I’m sick of being UNDER you always. I wanna sit on your seat. For God’s sake, you do not own that seat. I wanna tell you that even if your WPA is higher than mine, I am not your servant. Or minion. Or an earthworm crawling on your garden. You’re so full of yourself. You think you’re the prettiest, smartest girl in school with the perfect social life. Hell, you can’t even take care of your body. I dunno. Maybe I’m sick of you because, you make me do things I don’t normally do. YOU MAKE ME HATE YOU. I don’t usually hate. Usually. Lastly, I need to remind you that I am my own person. Do not call me names even if you don’t intend to hurt my feelings. Don’t call me “bitch” just because it’s cool. Call me my name because my parents thought hard about it. If you wanna be called a “bitch” then go send flyers and tell everybody to call you “bitch”. And oh, you can call me “witch”. *special thanks to: LJ for being my more-than-willing emotional dumpsite.

june 24, 2006

sheesh... ang bilis ng mga nagdaang araw. at wala akong ginawa kundi tumawa.. hahaha! we were in SM kanina at tawa kami ng tawa coz we got this crazy idea na magbubuo ng fans club namin at magpabuild ng adoration chapel para doon nyo kami i-adore! hahaha! that was really crazy and i dunno what zapped to my mind bakit ko naicp ung mga un. i guess that just natural high. and i love that. i remembered the time when i jumped off a flyover(pero mga 3meters high lang un) and muntik pa akong nasagasaan. hehehe.. i love that feeling. wow, nasobrahan ata ako ng carabao grass(sorry inubos ni telai ang marijuana). hehehe joke lang!

sheesh... ang bilis ng panahon. magthi-third week na ng klase. at hmm.. tatlo na ang---wait apat pala--- ang crush ko sa BA. gusto nyo i-enumerate ko? sige.. wait ha.. uhm.. eto na.. (wait for it skeez) si "hose"*, "beautiful stranger"*, "2fast2furious"* at syempre si "mr pangit".* I wrote a poem for hose pa naman. One of my best poems.. kasi I really like him, pero may gf na DAW sya. Pero okay lang! maagaw pa nga ang lupa ng gobyerno ang lalake pa kaya?! Hehehe.. but really, I don’t talk to him. I just love to think about him, look at him, smile at him, dream about him(OA na!). :D so far, okay naman ang subjects ko. i still love english. :D i don't like our PolSci prof. He's like the frozen mr diosma. oh sir diosma, wherefore art thou diosma? why hast thou given me an 86?!!!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent. namely, ME.
sheesh.. anniversary nga pala nina jiaxing at jewells ngaun. hapee aniversary! *throws confetti*

nakakatawa ang roleplaying namin kanina, at princess ang role ko(very suitable). hehe.. anak daw ako ni pharaoh(suy2). sheila and i talked(gee, that word was an understatement) about bff143 and her pathetic mouth which is as big as a trailer truck. hahaha! hoy eke! aquamarine!

at ako'y magpapaalam na sa aking random ramblings dahil pinapagalitan na ako ng aming aircon. i miss you mikee(of pbb). i shall love thee for a thousand a four days.

june 26, 2006

it's raining real hard. well, in eng21 we were told to memorize a literary piece. bff143 told me that 'tonight i can write the saddest lines' by neruda was HER piece daw. as in? i wanted that poem pa naman. but anyweis, i just decided to go for neruda's sonnet17. it's shorter and more romantic. this is the poem:


Sonnet 17
"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoot off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.


I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.


I love you without knowing how, or when or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way


than this: where I does not exist, nor you
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

*sniff* *sniff* nice noh?

There are just some people who would go through every tunnel just to spite you. Oh, you know them. They’re the kind that would ask you so many questions just so they could argue with something you said which screamed “Wrong!” in their ears. The kind that would introduce you to their friends so they could all make be mean to you. One book even said that they’re the kind that would cry upon your wounded toes just so they could get salt on your wound.

Why and how do they exist?

Envy---a toxic word. You won the tennis match and got a Chad Murray-clone for a boyfriend and her eyes are austerely green. Obviously, in her own shallow world, you are on top. So instead of minding her own business and try to reach your level, she finds a heaven-sent alternative: to bring you down. She’ll say things that’d make you doubt your boyfriend’s stuff and she’ll constantly emphasize your flaws so you would feel bad about yourself.

Sometimes though, she’s just got nothin’ to do. She just wants to feel better about her bitter self. She wants to show you she’s smarter and prettier and richer and whatever-er. THIS is the time that she’d appear dumb.

Truth is, there are numerous times that you’d wanna rebut her with---of course--- the truth. But you take a minute-look and you find out that she’s not really annoying, she’s just…PITIFUL. And you can’t bring yourself to stoop to her level because she’s PITIFUL. You begin to understand the things she does because you PITY her. You’ll realize then that there are better things to do than worry about the negativity she’s sprinkles on you.

Come tomorrow, she’ll grow paranoid wondering why you are not doing anything.
And she'll grow furious.
(*whispers* But there you are, pretty heroine. Smiling.)

This doesn’t happen every day.

Today’s the 12th Death Anniversary of my Uncle Ernesto na Ninong ko rin. He’s my dad’s kuya and our families are really really close. To sort of, celebrate, we had a sumptuous lunch at their house in Buhangin. Come afternoon, we decided to stop by the cemetery so afterwards we could head on to the 4pm mass my aunt arranged in San Pedro Church.

Sa public cemetery nakalibing si uncle so medyo tricky ang daanan papunta sa puntod niya. I led the prayer and when I was about to go, I slipped. Nahulog ako at nagka-scratches ang right arm ko. I had numerous slits on my wrist that it looked like ilang ulit akong naglaslas. My wrist and my pointer were bleeding so we immediately went home. Ang hapdi nung hinuhugasan ko ang sugat grabe. Mahapdi nga kahit mahawakan lang. So, yun, ginamot ko ang mga sugat at tumuloy na kami sa misa. I was “somewhere” during the mass coz I can’t breathe properly, I dunno..maybe because of the poor ventilation(whatever). After the mass, I took one random look at my wrist and my eyes widened. My wound formed a Capital Letter E.

Letter E..
Letter E..
Letter E..

I found this in tristancafe.com(nag-plug? hehe) and i thought it wasn't right. So i commented something negative like "Love spells are Psychological rape. yada yada". but i guess the one who posted it in the forum knew nothing about REAL Witchcraft. So the 'mang-mang' people there who were soooooo exited to try these spells out twirled with glee when they read the "love spells" post...because they would finally get their crush to like them. *snickers*

LOVE CHARM

Remove the king, queen, and five of hearts from the deck of cads. At midnight, after a new moon, place the five of hearts over the king and queen. Sprinkle salt to four direction of your bedroom and say, "If it's meant to be, make him see me."Wait to catch a glimpse of him by the next full moon.

DO YOU LOVE ME SPELL

Go outside or to a window where you can see the moon clearly in the sky. Close your eyes and visualize the person you desire. Say this: "If you love me, let me know. By this charm, his love to show."Next time you see the person, notice any form of new behavior he exhibits. If the person seems to talk or look at you more often than usual, see this as a sign that he feels love for you. However, be careful with this spell. YOu must be sure he has feelings for you in the first place for the spell to succeed.


THE WARMTH OF LOVE SPELL

Briskly rub your hands together while gazing at your crush and say this charm: "Hands of Fire, Heart of Flame. If he feels my heat, he must feel the same."Quickly look at the intended and notice if he looks at his hands or appears in any way "warmed". If so, the rest is up to you.


MULTIPLYING STRENGTH

Take my powers blessed be. Multiply their stregth by three


SIMPLE LOVE SPELL

On a friday evening, with your fave pen and a white piece of paper, write your name and your lover's surname. Draw a circle and close your eyes and say: "Our fate is sealed, we are one, so let it be. It is done!"



COUNTERSPELL
"The power of love comes from the heart. The desire to kiss is but a start. Remove the spell to separate the two. Remove the spell placed on (name).


i just thought it was wrong.

Love moves in SCANDALOUS ways. :)

Yesterday i went swimming the whole day and afterwards i ate the best chocolate cake ever. It was "to-die-for"(as telai would've said it). It had gooey chocolate on the top showered with mini-Hershey's kisses, then sa center may caramel at vanilla icing then sa bottom may crushed Oreo cookies.. *salivating*

Yessss! How many days nalang at klase na! I love going to school! Actually, okay lang walang summer vacation for me.. :) but only if i could wear my uniform to skul every summer. I don't wanna go to school wearing civillian clothes eh. eon. :)

btw, I finally decided to go jogging and do yoga and learn taekwondo(am i blabbering? oh no i'm not) every morning. Wow, d kaya magrereklamo ang multivitamins ko nito?

hay naku, everyone's sending me this "what's my best asset?" SMS. *sulks*

sorry i don't have anything better to do kaya eto lang maipakita ko.. (for now) hehe.. :D

You scored as English. You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours! </td> English 100% Linguistics 100% Journalism 100% Theater 92% Sociology 83% Philosophy 75% Psychology 75% Mathematics 67% Dance 67% Engineering 58% Chemistry 50% Art 50% Anthropology 50% Biology 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

^ naku totoo kaya ito? haha..

by the way this is the saddest song that i've ever heard:

I'm dressed all in blue
and I'm rememberin you
and the dress you wore,
When you broke my heart
I'm depressed upstairs
and I'm rememberin where
and when and how and why
You have to go so far

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around
So come around

I'm dressed all in white
and i remember the night
You came onto me
and opened up my heart
I was hollow then, till you filled me in
Now I'm empty again
I should have never let it start

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around
So come around

No one else can fix me
Although sometimes my heart tricks me
Into thinkin someone else will do
You are the only one, you are the only one

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around, So come around
So come around
So come around

I'm dressed all in blue
and I'm rememberin you
and the dress you wore,
When you broke my heart

^huhuhu...

My dad called me five minutes ago and “asked” me to “date” this Malaysian guy who’s new here in Davao(perhaps “have dinner” will do).

Okay, fast facts. His name is Andrew Kung(*rolls eyes*so pathetic), twenty something and based in Singapore. He worked on the same company where my dad worked and he’s a scholar. Wow that is something. My dad thought of someone who might be interested enough in taking this guy out for dinner and after a mental tally of probable dinner dates, he finally decided to COERCE me instead. Well, obviously, I agreed. I mean, do I have a choice? So here I am, waiting for Kamatayan. What am I gonna tell him? “How’s Davao so far?” or “What’s it like being so smart?” or “Do you know your surname is pathetic?”

Wish me luck guys.

My full name: Karla Stefan Evangelista Singson

My name game: K- Kaleidoscopic A- Amiable R- Reasonable L- Loving A- Attractive(magnet?) hehe

My secret nickname is: Little Miss Extra Rice because: I always order extra rice. *wink*

My hidden talent: applying pedicure and make-up (hehehe)

My fave kindergarten memory: dancing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” with Audree! Hahaha!

My fave graduation memory: I got new shoes!

My cheap thrill: Isaw! *yumyumyum*

My shopping advice: Buy whatever you want for what good is money if you’re not happy. Hahaha!

My three essentials: a smile, powder, lip balm

My Hollywood hottie: Jesse McCartney

My comfort food: Ice cream, chocolate cake and pizza

My comfort music: Uptown Girl and The Remedy. I instantly feel happy after hearing these songs.. 

My bedside book: Nada, just my “dream diary” where I record my dreams.


If I could be someone for a day, I’d be: Paris Hilton so I could: shop all day and give some to the charity and not be a slut. So I’m like the “good” Paris Hilton. It’s also plus that she’s really pretty.

If I had an alias it would be: Sailormoon because: I love it no matter what YOU say.

People don’t know I’m: such a weeper. I weep at cheesy movies, I weep watching news, sometimes I weep for a reason I can’t fathom. ^weirdo alert!^

The movie I would’ve loved to star in is: Titanic because: it’s so romantic. *sigh*

I would never eat: Strawberries!

If I could create my own ice cream flavor it would be: ChocoGluttony. Chocolate ice cream na may chocolate syrup at may Oreo bits.

Jackie Chan…makes me laugh.

I’m addicted to: tea.

Pulis ako. First job ko, accidental lang. I was with my family sa beach, chillin’ sa taas ng jeep and then I saw criminals on a jeep too. They gushed to the waters and were being chased by two cops on motorcycles. I dunno how they got into the water, but yes, motorcycles worked like jet skis and the crooks’ jeep worked like a speedboat. I was watching the chase and they were shooting like crazy. Subsequently, the crooks’ jeep pushed our jeep into the waters and we were in the middle of the shooting peeps---thankyouvVERYmuch. I yelled “Dapa! Hawak sa railing!” to my folks over and over again coz the crooks were shooting hard and were at the deep part na ng dagat. After the “shooting”, my sis Lendle was wounded and I nursed her. The day after, I became a cop.

Crooks tried to kill me by using shattered mirror but they didn’t hit me even once. I hit them all except one. This one was like, The Master. I was holding a gun but The Master seemed invincible even if I shot him many times. So I had this “partner”, a black guy, who caught one big piece of the shattered mirror the crooks used to hit me and I was yelling at him to just hit the goddamn crook. He was hesitating but then, fortunately, he did. He did hit The Master at his neck--- I assumed he was dead. Another encounter happened. It was by the CR; coz my other kasamahan sa pulisya used the CR. Things that followed were total blur.

Then I woke up.

"Why should Caesar get to stomp
around like a giant



"while the rest of us try not to get
smushed under his big feet?



"What's so great about Caesar?



"Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.



"OK, Brutus is just
as smart as Caesar.



"People totally like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar.



"And when did it become
OK for one person



"to be the boss of everybody?



"Because that's not
what Rome is about!



"We should totally just stab Caesar!"

"Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)"

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colours changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists' loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...



--- awww.. it's so sad. *sniff* as sad as the idea that mom wouldn't allow me to wear hoop earrings... :( but nothing can stop me. hahaha!